ART & SCIENCE - TWO SIDES OF THE COIN OF PARENTING!!!!

It’s been quite a while that I blogged. More than a year I guess. After I started my school and with a simultaneous shift in residence I should admit that I did not manage my time well enough to also pursue this passion of mine.

Post the ISB phase, I have started to spend time for myself with myself and am enjoying it. In this journey I have also rejuvenated my reading habit – thanks to the travel time in MTC. There are two wonderful books that I read recently – The SECRET by Rhonda Byrne and The ART OF RAISING CHILDREN by Sri.Sri. RaviShankar and both these books have brought in a sea change in me and my approach.

You will find below the points that I found interesting and relevant as an Almamater and as a Parent -

KNOW YOUR CHILD

Parenting is an art some times and a Science some times. There is no fixed solution to any situation that you face with your child. This may sound profound, but this is the truth. People will try to give you solutions / advise; but remember you are the architect and you know the nature of soil well than anybody else. Now, let us close our eyes and think for a moment - The newborn child is perfect at birth. He is born with the potential of self creation. The natural laws within the child guide this process. If this is true, why are we complaining and facing so called difficult situations every day with our child.

The Science Part of Parenting – Identifying the Problem and Analysis

As Dr. Montessori aptly puts, the early phase is the absorption phase and the child absorbs everything in the environment like a sponge. So, if you are at crossroad with your child sit back and think – where has the child absorbed this from ie. Which environment? Is it the Home Environment? If so, where should the correction happen?  Once we have identified the problem, the corrective measure should be very subtle. Children are smart to find out the difference between one’s natural self and artificially made up changes. The environment is completely responsible for a child’s normal development and growth. Deviation happens when the energy of the child is not utilised in the right direction. The environment and mostly adults, consciously or unconsciously are the cause for the child’s deviation. The child is working towards self construction between the age 0 - 3. If we do not provide an environment which offers the care and the protection he needs, in which he can find opportunities for interaction it becomes an obstacle to development. If the environment does not enable the child to become independent, if we do not understand that child is guided from within, we begin to be and place obstacles in the path of child’s natural development. Our lack of understanding of the child becomes a huge obstacle for the child’s physical and inner psychical growth. So, instead of pointing fingers at the child and getting exasperated it is imperative for us to look at our self and the environment.

The Art of Parenting – Psychology

The parents of today are well educated, well informed and want to give the best to their children. In the process and pursuit of giving the best to children parents somehow fail to remember that they were also kids at one time and that their kids will also be going through the same phase in any form and manner. They had emerged as responsible human beings only because of their parents’ understanding, love and support. Our first step is to start observing the tendencies and interests of the child.  Let us remember that parenting is a two way journey and we should at all stages be prepared to learn from the child. What do we want to learn from the child and what do you want the child to learn from you? But in this process, please do not force your image, vision and dreams on the child. Let the child’s natural energy flow seamlessly like a river sprawling over creativity, arts, science, etc.. Let us understand that every child is born with certain tendencies and basics which cannot be changed and let us not fight a futile battle trying to change it. The lesser we try to change, the better for the development of the child. Art is also about experience and the art of parenting is about giving more of opportunities and rich experiences to the child. Let the child feel abundance with different kind of experiences and exposure in the healthy side – it could be travelling by a train / bus, walking down the road holding the father’s hand and talking to him, shopping for vegetables with the mother, etc.

In all our anguish and anxiety let us ensure that our child is a Poor(may be monetarily) Rich Child(experience and knowledge) and vice versa which is neither good for the child nor for the society that we wish to leave for our child.